I do not write very much these days because I spend most of my time watching over my friend Margaret. You see, a teddy in my position must continue guardianship over his human being for a lifetime and Margaret's lifetime, I have come to understand, as she tells me, is "winding down".
Lifetimes are things I understand only a little; much about them still befuddles this old bear. Teddies are forever; human beings are not, and something about that seems sad and a little wrong. Margaret understands it better than I do, and tells me it is okay with her. This is simply how life is.
When Margaret told me awhile back about birthdays, she had to explain many things which go along with birthdays and while most things about birthdays are very happy--especially the cards, and cakes, and parties--some things are not. As I become more real, I have come to understand endings a littler bit and those are things which teddies do not usually think about. We are very much "in the present" as Margaret likes to say, and so yesterdays and tomorrows are not so important to us. I have learned that birthdays are partly celebrations of yesterdays and all the birthdays which came before, but more importantly, they celebrate todays.
So, I have a today to celebrate: my very own birthday!
Margaret was very, very little when I was given to her, and much of my history with her is lost now; neither of us remembers her birthdays back then, and I never had one back then to remember, to begin with. So, when we discussed birthdays some time ago, she asked me if I would like to have one--a day which we would choose for me. December 1 sounded good to me, and I liked 1951 for my year, because it was Margaret's year, too. So it was decided.
Today, Margaret made a card for me (I have not seen it yet) and will make a cake for me later this afternoon (also a soon-to-be-surprise). She, Steve, and my little brotherbear Muddy will celebrate my day today and we will remember whatever yesterdays we can.
Margaret has told me about birthday presents, but I told her that I do not really want any. I already have my presents; the best ones there are--my family and my friends.
There is nothing more an old bear needs.
